Wednesday, April 10, 2019

10 ways real estate is like Game of Thrones

For you prospective home buyers out there, I know buying a home can seem just as hard as battling for the throne of Westeros.  (Admit it, this is your fourth season of trying to buy something.) Your experiences on this journey probably look like this to you:

The part of town you'd like to live in:

It's a little congested, but it's really very walkable.

The part of town you can actually afford to live in:

The, um, "city" council is trying to get the next CicLAvia here, and has promised to create bike paths on the dirt roads.

The listing agent:
Seems nice, but don't turn your back for even one minute.  And don't even ask what his side hustle is.  He is still pissed that his boutique "agency" was not selected for "Selling Sunset."

Your seller:
If you think he's a little cold, you'd be right. Would have more fun killing you than closing the deal.  Would prefer it, in fact. Every encounter with your seller is fraught with menace if not outright danger.

Your agent:
Clever but probably bitter, twisted and a little drunk.

Your lender:
Seems to be on your side, but can turn on you at a moment’s notice and scorch you.  Insatiable appetite for paper.

The other buyer who got the house you wanted:
One word: squish.

How the house you'd like to buy looks to you:

How the house you'd like to buy looks to you, after you get the inspector's report:

You, after you’ve lost out on yet another house.
Feeling trapped by fate.

Never fear.  If you are truly motivated and qualified, I can help you win your fight for your own palace.

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