14 Reasons why the San Fernando Valley and L.A. are superior to San Francisco and the SF peninsula

I just spent a weekend in Palo Alto and San Francisco visiting my in-laws. Yes, everybody loves San Francisco with its big-city vibe and 20 kinds of olive oil, blah, blah blah, big vacation destination, etc. But really, I missed our land and think we have it all over the SF Bay Area. Here's why.

1. We have more homes for sale. Many more. (Had to get that search term in there, but it's true.)
2. We have Universal City and Disneyland. They have Pier 39. Please.
3. We have less traffic. Really.
4. They have Stanford. We have UCLA, USC and Makeup Art Designory.
5. There, everybody wears hoodies and looks like the Unibomber. We have Aloha shirts and fat kids in baggy, calf-length shorts. Way more cheerful!
6. We have more tattoos and piercings.
7. We have Zankou Chicken.
8. Many of us can see a Costco or Target from our houses. What can they see? The Golden Gate Bridge, maybe? Meh.
9. We have more parking. You can actually turn your car off close to your house here.
10. Housing costs less here.
11. We have more Armenians, and more of every other ethnic group, too. Except maybe Chinese.
12. We have the Lakers. (We'll leave the Dodgers v. Giants argument for another time.)
13. We have The Arclight(s).
14. They have upscale shopping in Union Square and Stanford Shopping Center. We have upscale AND downscale shopping everywhere.

So let's stop with the inferiority complex, folks, and learn to appreciate where we live!

Board-ups in Burbank

Rumor has it that the Von's on San Fernando in Burbank will be closing soon. It was kind of crummy, but now the only grocery store for the area will be the kind-of-crummy Ralph's across the street. No word on what might go into the space. So, at least for awhile, there will be more parking for Zankou Chicken.

And while Kohl's has made a deal to take over a lot of empty Mervyn's, the Burbank Mall Mervyn's isn't one of them. So, soon, Burbank is going to be awash in giant, empty retail spaces. Do you think the Burbank City Fathers and Mothers could persuade Whole Foods to give Burbank another try? Or should these spaces just all lease out to Korean and Armenian churches? I'm kind of worried that all of these board-ups will lead to blight.